WHAT FILLS INNER EMPTINESS? by Margaret Paul, PhD
Samantha is a very giving person. She gives to her family
and her friends. She volunteers at a local hospital and
helps build homes for low income families. She is a
spiritual person who prays daily. Yet Samantha has a big
empty space inside her, a black hole of sadness that nothing
seems to fill. How can this be? She is doing everything
right - doing service, praying and trying in many ways to be
a good person - so what's wrong?
The problem is that Samantha does not take care of herself.
She works too hard, forgets to eat and eats junk food,
doesn't play enough, and says yes when she really means no.
Her Inner Child is abandoned most of the time while she is
so busy caring for others.
Samantha has never learned that she must bring love, not
just to the level of her heart and then out to others, but
to the level of her own feelings - her Inner Child. She
thinks that by filling her heart with love and giving that
love to others, she will get filled in return. She wonders
why she still feels so empty inside.
The only one who can begin to fill that emptiness within her
is Samantha, and that occurs only when Samantha cares about
herself - her own feelings and needs - at least as much as
she cares about others. However, Samantha was taught that
it's selfish to take care of herself - that she's loving
only if she takes care of others. She was taught that she
will feel fulfilled within when she gives to others, and
that others will give back to her and fill up the emptiness
within.
It doesn't work that way.
When we are not filling ourselves by attending to our own
feelings, needs and well-being, we will feel empty and alone
inside. When we are not asking a higher source of guidance
throughout the day what is loving to ourselves - what is in
our highest good - and taking loving action in our own
behalf, we will be empty within no matter how much we do for
others and no matter how much others do for us. We are the
only ones, in connection with a spiritual source of love,
who can fill up the inner emptiness.
Samantha is confused about the difference between
selfishness and self- responsibility. She is actually being
selfish by not taking care of herself because others are
constantly worrying about her.
When we don't take on the responsibility of our own
well-being, we will automatically pull on others
energetically to fill the hole within us. An empty place
within is like a vacuum that sucks energy from others when
we are not bringing love to ourselves. Others may try to
give to us, but it's a bottomless pit when we are not
filling ourselves by taking loving care of our own feelings
and needs.
I spent some time with Samantha when we worked together on a
volunteer project. I could feel her sadness and inner
aloneness the whole time I was with her and my heart broke
for her. Here she is, a wonderful giving woman who has spent
her life in service, only to end up with a bottomless pit of
sadness within. It was like watching child abuse, only the
child who is being abused is her own Inner Child. I hope
someday that Samantha discovers the beauty of who she is and
decides to care for herself in the same way she has always
cared for others. I hope she learns to bring the spiritual
love that she is connected with down to the level of her own
feelings first, before giving it out to others. Actually,
Samantha needs to learn to do this to save her own life,
because it is evident to me that she is getting more and
more depleted by giving to others while not receiving from
God and from others. Until she is open to giving to herself,
she does not even know when she is being given to by others.
Until she loves herself, she will not feel the love of
others. Others' love is fulfilling only when we are also
loving ourselves.
==========================
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up
Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be
Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner
Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course:
http://www.innerbonding.com or
margaret@innerbonding.com
More articles on SPIRITUALISM
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HEALING FOOD ADDICTION
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Are You Addicted To Your Activities?
What Fills Inner Emptiness?
You Are Never Alone
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