TIME FOR CONNECTION by Margaret Paul, PhD
Gretta and David fell deeply in love in their mid 50's. They were
both astounded at the level of passion they experienced.
At the beginning of their relationship, nothing got in the way of
their time together - not chores, children, work, friends, or "stuff".
Nothing was more important than their time together.
However, when they got married and started living together, their
passion seemed to fall by the wayside. Sometimes they didn't
make love for weeks at a time. They called me for a session to
see what was wrong.
Half way into the session, David hit the nail on the head. "We
never seem to have time for each other anymore."
"What are you doing with your time now?" I asked. "Getting stuff
done," they answered.
"Why is getting the stuff done more important than time
together?" I asked.
As we explored this question, both Gretta and David discovered
that they had been brought up with a strong work ethic: "Get
everything done before relaxing." "Work before play." What they
didn't realize was that their "doing" was in the way of their
"being." Without having time to be, they had no emotional and
spiritual connection with each other, or with themselves. Without
their connection, there was no desire to express themselves
sexually, especially for Gretta. Gretta complained that she didn't
feel connected with David and didn't enjoy sex without
connection, yet she made no room in her day for the time to
connect.
How many of you plan time for yourself - to connect with yourself
and with your spiritual guidance? How many of you plan time to
connect with your partner or others in your life?
Creating time to connect with yourself means setting aside time
each day to just be with yourself. When you plan this quiet time -
to pray, meditate, dialogue, journal - you create the space to
connect with Spirit as well. It is when you are quiet and in the
moment with yourself that you will hear the voice of your spiritual
guidance.
Creating time to connect with each other means planning time to
do nothing with each other, as well as planning fun time
together. It means sitting together on the patio and watching the
sunset. It means having a cup of tea together before going to
work. It means watching a video together, or taking a walk. It
means getting into bed way before bedtime to cuddle and share
your day with each other. It means getting up early enough to
share your dreams with each other. It means planning a date
night together at least once a week.
Your relationship with yourself and your partner will always suffer
if you do not plan time to connect. This is not a luxury -
something you do only after you've finished everything. This is a
necessity for your own health and well-being as well as the
health and well-being of your relationship. You will never finish
everything you need to do. There will always be "stuff." But the
wonder and passion of life will pass you by if you do not
schedule in time to connect. This time needs to be as important
as the time you take to eat, sleep, and work. It is only when you
see it as essential to your well-being will you make it a very high
priority in your life.
Gretta and David decided to set aside a half hour each day to sit
on their patio and do nothing with each other. In addition, they
each decided to set aside another half hour - when they were
usually doing stuff - to connect with themselves. It didn't take
long for the passion to come back into their relationship.
==========================
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of
eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?",
"Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To
Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE
Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
margaret@innerbonding.com
More articles on PARTNERSHIP
USING SEX ADDICTIVELY
TIME FOR CONNECTION
Resistance to Celebrating
7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship
426
|
|
|
|
