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SPOOKTACULAR SUCCESS INTERVIEWS by Garth Gibson No longer just blood sucking demons
of the night, vampires have branched
out to the business end of Halloween
festivities.
In a series of interviews conducted by
Mortally Safer of Deadly Minutes!,
vampires reveal the shocking truth about
their efforts to takeaway business from
the Heavenly Pumpkins Mafia.
Deadly enemies' hostilities resurrected
between the groups after lawmakers allowed
stores to stay open after DARK.
The Pumpkins feeling their livelihood threatened
enlisted the help of the WitchMart, a chain of
stores selling ghoul products and family
software like SpellChecker.
Not to be outdone vampires began a publicity
campaign and achieved scary profits in just
months after being interviewed by Deadly Minutes.
Here is a short excerpt of those interviews:
Q:With whom do vampires do all their banking with?
A:Bank of Transylvania
Q:Why do British vampires drive corvettes?
A:It's bloody fast!
Q:What did the vampires call their new dining chain?
A:Eating Joints!
Q:What kind of business suits do vampires wear?
A:Bury Ellis!
If you want to know about the vampire interviews full
transcripts will be released at midnight worldwide.
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