SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AIN'T ENOUGH. by Joan Marques
You know, there are so many songs, poems, quotations and other works of art
out there that will tell you that love is all. And I will be one of the very
last to deny that this phenomenon - indeed - lies at the core of many good
things that happen: A chance given to a person who has always been at the
less fortunate side of life, is one of the simplest examples of love's
manifestation in an environment branded as hard and as loveless as the
business world. In all other areas of life love is much more accepted, and
much less perceived as ridiculous, so illustrations in those regards may be
considered of less necessity. After all: love is the almighty recipe that
often results in marriages, the subsequent birth of offspring, and the
ultimate creation and preservation of families, neighborhoods, towns,
cities, counties, countries, continents, and - eventually - our old spinning
world.
But what about those particular situations when love for another person is
overshadowed by everything else and just cannot make a breakthrough as an
entity of its own?
Think of the man who maneuvered himself in a relationship with a former
partner and now realizes that he made a mistake: A few years ago he got
carried away by a reminiscence of a time and a feeling that had long
evaporated in nothingness. However, by the time this awareness emerged, he
found himself trapped in a situation with a person who had evolved from the
vibrant individual she once was, into a hyper dependent, home-tied,
unadventurous soul who, in the course of the time that this revived version
of their age-old acquaintance has been going on, has managed to bury him
under feelings of responsibility, guilt over almost-faded mistakes from
younger days, emotional distress, financial pressure, family-discipline, and
co-dependence, to a point that he just cannot consider choosing for any
other option that will solely be based on something as uncomplicated as
love. This man concludes that, if he dares to step out of this self-dug
grave, he will be consumed by guilt, financial strangle, and a general
feeling of having ruined a dependent soul for good. He perceives his current
misfortune as a result of his own fault, fears the pain that stern action
will undoubtedly cause, and thus decides to ruin his own life and relinquish
love..
Or consider the woman who has found herself a wonderful man: one of the kind
that most members of her sex regularly fantasize about: a home-buddy with no
need to roam the streets and bars; whose world entirely spins around her;
who is financially independent; handsome, helpful, sensual, well-built,
loving, and the sexual dream of every woman. But the small print under this
attractive seeming package includes questionable characteristics of this
potential life partner: extreme jealousy, torturous suspicion, a
heavily-damaged self-image, a suffocating emotional dependence on her, and a
severe drinking problem leading to mood swings that threaten to drive her
into self-destruction. Although this woman may dearly love her aspirant
partner, she wonders whether she should choose for a life with him,
foreseeing the devastation he will apparently bring upon her need for
achievement, progress, her ambitious nature, her spirit of adventure, and
her creativeness that requires some regular time to herself.
Where, exactly, does love determine the final breakthrough, and when should
it be considered inadequate as a decisive factor? Through both of the above
examples it may have become clear that love toward others can very well be
present in one's life, but that it may have to be surpassed for a number of
other issues such as responsibility, guilt, or self-preservation. A vital
fact for many people in deciding HOW they will let love rule their life is
age: the older we get, the more we tend to prioritize all other pressures in
disfavor of partner-love. We allow fear for bad karma, risk aversion,
reluctance to be hurt, repugnance to give up our delicately developed
serenity, unwillingness to sacrifice an austerely established financial
security, and fear for change to take the lead: we choose the easy way out,
favoring the road of the least complications and short-term, superficial
self-love and reducing the love that is a passionate emotion toward another
person to a second-rate sentiment that just isn't enough. Life's lessons can
be peculiar.
Joan Marques, Burbank, October 16, 2003
---------------------------------------------------
About the Author:
Joan Marques, holds an MBA, is a doctoral candidate in Organizational
Leadership, and a university instructor in Business and Management in
Burbank, California. You may visit her web site at www.joanmarques.com
Joan's manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over
the bumps in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at:
http://www.non-books.com/FeelGoodSeries.html
More articles on BUSINESS-MANAGEMENT
Odds and Ends
If you believe...
The Definition of Success
How to contribute your two cents toward a happier workplace.
What a shame
Million Dollar Considerations - Part 1
What You Should Know: International Marketer or Not!
Insight - our most underrated talent
The Power of Planning
Some Comments on Leadership
Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough.
From All Sides Now.
What You Should Know: International Marketer or Not! - Part 9
Growing Older.
Useful One-liners.
214
|
|
|
|
