SEEING THE SOULS OF YOUR CHILDREN by Margaret Paul, PhD
Your toddler is having her second tantrum of the day while
your four year old son is racing around the house with the
neighbor's child. You feel completely stressed out and are
questioning your decision to have these kids, with a third
on the way! What were you thinking?!
At times like this you might want to remember who your
children really are. You might want to remember that your
children are spiritual beings with eternal souls, who
courageously came here to evolve their souls in love through
the earthly experience. You might want to remember that they
are wonderful, loving, creative beings who are learning how
to operate on the planet in their little bodies. You might
want to remember that they are souls that need your love as
much as they need oxygen, food, and water. You might want to
remember that, in their souls, they are peaceful beings, and
that they may respond to being seen as peaceful beings even
in the midst of chaos.
Your response to your children's difficult behavior has much
to do with shaping your own parenting experience as well as
shaping their characters. When you see yourself as having
the privilege of shepherding these precious souls into
adulthood, rather than being burdened with the task of
raising these children, your own experience of parenthood
will be greatly enhanced. When you connect with the
beautiful essence of their spirits, even in the midst of
having to handle the tantrum, you teach them to value their
own beauty. When you stay conscious of the love and
peacefulness within your own soul, you role-model for them
who they really are.
You have the choice each moment to see your children through
spiritual eyes of love or through earthly eyes of fear and
control. The moment your intention is to control them, you
are likely to respond to their tantrums, demands, and
resistance with anger, exasperation, frustration, compliance
or criticism. When your intention is to be loving to
yourself and to them, you will find loving ways of limiting
their unacceptable behavior. Asking yourself, "What is the
loving action toward myself and my children in this moment?"
will bring ideas into your mind of healthy ways of handling
difficult behavior. We want to limit unacceptable behavior
without limiting the aliveness and joy of our children.
For example, if your intention is to have control over your
daughter while she's having a tantrum, your own energy will
be harsh, angry, and judgmental. You might yell at her to
stop, or you might walk away in anger and frustration. In
either case, you are not being a role-model for the behavior
you want. However, if you hold in your heart the wonder and
peacefulness of your daughter's soul, you might pick her up
and hold her tight until she stops her tantrum, limiting her
behavior while giving her love, or you might walk away from
the tantrum with the loving energy of taking care of
yourself rather than punishing her. Your intention to be
loving or controlling not only determines how you end up
feeling, but educates your child as well. Your controlling
behavior teaches your child to keep finding new ways to
control, while behavior that is loving to yourself and your
child teaches your child about loving herself and loving
you. Staying connected with your own love and peacefulness
helps you to stay connected with the love and peacefulness
of your child's soul, and becomes a mirror to help your
child know who he or she really is - a wonderful, beautiful,
loving and peaceful child of God.
=========================
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up
Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be
Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner
Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course:
http://www.innerbonding.com or
margaret@innerbonding.com
More articles on PARENTING
PARENTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU HAVE SMALL CHILDREN
Learning From All Our Relationships
Seeing The Souls of Your Children
Is Mothering Wearing You Out?
Caretaking Parents, Entitled Kids
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