EIGHT WAYS TO BE A BETTER FRIEND by Susie Michelle Cortright
Being a good friend is a skill we can learn and
improve upon. Here, eight ways to be a better friend.
Number One: Like yourself
The first step in having a good relationship with a
friend is to have a good relationship with yourself.
When we genuinely like ourselves, we become more
attractive to other people. We have more to offer
others because we are not constantly focused on
our own image and reputation.
We become better friends because we don't cling.
We are secure enough to spend time with a friend
because we want to, not because we need to.
Number Two: Choose wisely
Relationships among true friends take a steady dose
of time and energy--two resources in limited supply
for all of us. Identify the friends with whom you
wish to create a closer bond. It's perfectly okay
if not all of your acquaintances make the list.
The closeness of your connections is far more
important than the length of your guest lists.
Number Three: Make the time
Friends are important in many ways--so much so
that these relationships often take on a life
of their own. You owe it to yourself (and to your
friends) to make these relationships a priority.
Carve out some quality time for one another.
Number Four: Make the first move
This is where I have trouble, and I know I'm not
alone. If you want to improve your relationships,
put your fear of rejection aside and start taking
more risks. Invite your friends to lunch. Organize
a new playgroup. Invite them over for dinner.
Too often, we fail to follow up with our friends.
Don't miss out-just make the first phone call.
Your friends are just as anxious to get together
as you are.
Number Five: The Golden Rule
Treat your friends as you wish to be treated.
Stated another way: "To have a friend, be a friend."
Focus more on being interested than on being
interesting. Be enthusiastic and energetic.
Avoid complaining, gossiping, and criticizing.
Number Six: Sweat the Small Stuff
Make your friends feel significant by remembering
small kindnesses. Notice her new haircut. Remember
to ask about her mother-in-law's surgery. Send
flowers or a simple email when you know she needs
it most.
Number Seven: Listen
Good listeners are hard to find, and honing your
skills can be a long-term project.
A few tips:
-Slow down. Try not to finish your friend's sentences.
If you catch yourself planning your response while
your friend is still talking, gently remind yourself
to focus on the speaker.
-Show her you are listening. Maintain eye contact.
Offer nods and murmurs that indicate you understand
her point of view.
-Minimize distractions.
-Ask questions.
-Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants
to vent her frustrations, not ask you for a
plan of action.
Number Eight: Be loyal
We all need someone in our corner. If your friend
isn't there to defend herself against gossip or
criticism, speak up, and know she would do the same
for you.
Copyright 2003 Susie Cortright
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Susie Michelle Cortright is the author of several books for women
and founder of the award-winning Momscape.com, a website designed
to help busy women find balance. Visit http://www.momscape.com today
and get Susie's *free* course-by-email "6 Days to Less Stress."
More articles on PARTNERSHIP
Eight Ways to Be a Better Friend
I'm Sorry! Blame-Game or Accountability?
Get Out of Jail Free: Stop Being Defensive
Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive
Into The Limelight
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